When in J.S.S. 3 I watched my Mathematics teacher’s lips move without hearing a word he said in class, I had no idea that was going to be the first in a series of crushes I would later have. I say series because that one crush seemed to spark off half a dozen more. Well, okay, I admit that it could be more. A dozen, perhaps, I’m not quite sure. All I know for sure is I’ve had enough crushes to last a life time. If it isn’t the colleague whose physique, voice or great sense of humour I’m in awe of, it’s the young, attractive dentist who’s extracting my tooth and with whom I can’t wait to book my next appointment.
Then, too, there is the monstrous crush I’ve had on Idris Elba forever. And I do mean forever, since the days of “The Reaping” when he wasn’t that popular (the Idris Elba’s every girl’s crush popular)!
So you see, I’ve had enough crushes to recognise that my friend’s having a crush even if she insists that what she feels for this dude she’s so mad on is love. Except that it isn’t really love, is it? No, not when she has all the signs of someone having a crush written all over her. If you’re wondering what these signs are, then you should check out these four:
You’ve noticed that *he’s not very smart, kind, or friendly, or perhaps he’s rude, annoying, or loud, yet you find him extremely attractive. You love his physical appearance, his face, body, height, eyes, jaw line, complexion, dentition, and the rest. Don’t get me wrong, these things may be important too sometimes, but when they become the focus of your attention, there’s the likelihood that what you’re feeling is nothing more than a crush. My Mathematics teacher wasn’t the most attractive man that ever walked the earth. But at that time, I thought he was. I had not seen any man finer in all my preadolescent years. Plus, he was the closest to the perfect male characters I had read of in the romance novels I borrowed from friends.
If you spend all day obsessing over him, stalking him on all his social media pages, zooming in a thousand times over on every DP he puts up on BBM, and constantly calling or texting even when there’s no need for it, you are probably having a crush. Once, I had a crush on someone that I literally obsessed over for as long as the crush lasted. If I wasn’t on his Twitter and Facebook pages to check what was new with him, I was thinking about him and how if we got married I would smother him with hugs and kisses. Maybe you’ve also caught yourself staring or drooling at that dude and day dreaming about how ruggedly handsome he is or how cute he is when he smiles or how adorable your kids would be even though you’ve hardly said two words to each other and might never. You should know now that what you’re feeling is a crush.
It’s short lived
It could take minutes, days, weeks, months or even years to get over your crush, but you will, eventually. That’s why it’s a crush. Crushes are meant to be gotten over. You have this strong, burning desire to be with someone this minute, and the very next you’re wondering why you ever found him attractive. It could be because you are older, wiser, and no longer that impressionable, young girl you used to be, or it could be because you know more about this person and realise that there’s more to love than an obsessive feeling or desire. Either way, getting over your crush is an inevitability. Now, years after my first crush, it’s hard to believe that I ever sat with my chin in my palm and my elbow on my desk, drooling at my teacher.
Of course, you know he’s much older, married, has a girlfriend or fiancee, is a celebrity you might never meet, is a bad boy with a tattoo that you know your mum would have a fit at, or he’s just not within your reach somehow. But you can’t help that you’re crazy about him. My crush on Idris Elba is a classic example. Also, my Mathematics teacher was young, probably in his early twenties, but he was much older and he most certainly wasn’t going to be attracted to his young student. So my crush on him was as unrealistic as it could be. Still, I always looked forward to his classes even though I was never really a fan of the subject. Recently, too, I found that I’ve been obsessed with Jason Derulo. Well, I wouldn’t really say obsessed … maybe smitten, or let’s just say that I could sit all day listening to his songs or watching him dance and never get bored. I’ve downloaded every single one – I mean, ALL – of his songs on my phone and would probably sing them in my sleep if I had to. What can I say? You can’t help who you’re smitten with, right?
* Note that, although I focused on the female sex, everything in this post applies to both sexes.